I ♥ Vaseline
Dear Robert Chesebrough,
Thank you for creating this magical product. I’ve used it to seal a modified air cold storage room when I was working, cure chapped lips, grease creaky joints, and now, I use to get rid of redness on my baby’s bottom. According to Wikipedia, you burned yourself in front of people to sell your product. You are one crazy dude.
I hope you won an award for your creative genius. If not, I hope that at least you got paid. Maybe being dubbed sir is enough.
A Thankful Mom from the 21st century.